My story (last part)

Part 3. (Part 1 , Part 2 )

Love is a cruel thing, they say. I was so young, so inexperienced in human relationships, having no positive role model in the family. All my insecurities resurfaced when I started my own relationship with a man, and they were there every step of the way, up until my marriage hit the mark of 15 years. It may take that long!

But getting back on track with my story. My husband and I, along with our son, moved to Melbourne in 2005 and, two years later, decided to make Melbourne our home. I love the city with all my heart and I truly believe it is the best one in the world.

I worked as a teacher after we moved (my first degree is in linguistics and intercultural communication). But I felt unsettled with my job. I tried myself as a bookkeeper; after one year of study and six months of work I firmly knew that this is not my path in this life.

Then, as in so many natural health practitioners窶 and healers窶 journeys there came a wake -up call. A health challenge. A relationship challenge. Three miscarriages, one of which at nearly midterm left us with a spot to visit at the Brighton cemetery, then a nervous breakdown and, as a result, the relationship crisis.

This heralded a period of countless meditation and esoteric classes, retreats and mindfulness podcasts and books on self-development. After going through this 2- year upheaval, my continuous learning about natural medicine and esoterics became official and I enrolled into the Naturopathy course in 2009. Two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant with my second son. Then another challenge unrolled. When he was around 10 months old, I knew there窶冱 something wrong. The little one was different from his brother when he was that age. Initially I thought it窶冱 because I was tired, I overanalysed things. But as a mother I knew, he did behave differently 窶 unable to play with a toy for more than several seconds, picking up one toy and throwing it instantly away, then the loss of the eye contact occured. All this, coupled with turbulent first 6 months of zero sleep because he had been so unsettled, the projectile vomiting, the eczema, all this was screaming to me that I had to do something. And I embarked on yet another journey, which was all about real dietary changes, learning tonnes about gut disorders and gut-brain connection, autistic spectrum disorder and much more. And I did it. With quite a bit of collateral damage for other family members, I did it. The drive to help my little baby was so strong in me as well as the thirst for knowledge, that I did it, with the help of my family. I窶冦 forever grateful to my husband, whose support, love and acceptance has been limitless. My elder son was a true hero in this family drama; he fought his own demons, going through his tweens at the time, changing schools, trying to establish new friendships he so much craved. So this is one of the ways I can express gratitude to my family – you are true warriors, full of love and determination, and you are so much loved.

Going back to mid-90s, when I bought that book on transcendental psychology, that was the time I started to feel drawn to all things connected to natural medicine and healing. I studied aromatherapy while doing my linguistics degree in Moscow, learned about Ayurveda as part of my University degree. The psychology module at the university opened up so many avenues of exploration of the subconscious. After I had my first child I realised that conventional medicine is not the road I窶囘 like to take with my baby窶冱 health, so I studied homeopathy and have been using it successfully ever since. Then there were all the life challenges. Each and every one of them pushed me to the limit but brought so much experience! I窶冦 grateful for all of that. I wouldn窶冲 be the person I am now if it wasn窶冲 for them.

I am not perfect, by the way. I am a human being, experiencing this physical existence. I love chocolate and good food in general. I can lose my temper, I do get frustrated, none of the human emotions are foreign to me. I do make mistakes. I have my weaknesses but prefer to draw on my strengths. I am here to be, to breathe, to help, to educate and I窶冦 humbled by what I do.

I hope my story has something that touched you. I hope some learned something new, some could see hope, and some may recognise bits of their own story in mine. Because the most personal is the most common.

I窶囘 love to connect with you! Send me an email. We don窶冲 have to navigate through this life on our own. There窶冱 always support out there!

In light and health,


My Story (continued)

Part 2. (Part 1 )

So, the teens didn窶冲 start well. I was miserable in my plump shell of a body. But the smarts were there. And interestingly, some sort of intuition, or knowing, survived through all the calamities of the previous years. I hit the jackpot when I had a growth spurt closer to 14-15 years of age, so whatever extra weight I had had, then distributed evenly along the taller frame. I felt lucky. But, of course, for a teenage girl, that was still not good enough. I still suffered emotionally but no attempts to improve the situation were made.

I have always been a reader. In my childhood, the choice of books was scarce. In the Soviet Union one had to queue for everything but some things, like good quality books, were not available for masses, only through certain firms one could get a subscription which entitled them to get a couple of books every 6 months or so. It was mostly Russian authors, or foreign classical literature. To get access to such subscription one had to work for such a firm. No luck for my family in this area but I managed to scavenge the libraries窶 shelves for something that I was interested in 窶 fantasy, detective stories. Later, after the fall of the Soviet Union, people in Russia experienced an influx of all sorts of literature into the country. When I was 16, I saw a book at one of the numerous book stalls, generously dispersed around my home town, which grabbed my attention. The title read 窶弋ranscendental Psychology窶. I had no idea what 窶徼ranscendental窶 meant but the surge to get this book was so strong that I spent nearly all my pocket money to buy it. It was a hardcover and printed on very poor quality paper. I believe I never finished the book; it was a hard read! I wish they sold something like Louise Hay窶冱 work in those days in Russia! But no, I dived straight into the deep end.

Why mention that book purchase? Well, I mark it as my first, albeit subconscious, impulse towards esoterics. And my interest in fantasy and detective genre re-surfaced in my present work as a naturopath and healer, where I do connect with energy bodies of a human being, and I do a lot of detective work into why a disease appeared in this particular person. The work of a naturopath is indeed akin to the work of a good detective, looking at all the evidence (blood, urine, hair tests results, MRIs, ultrasound scans reports, patient窶冱 health history) from birth up until now and what窶冱 been happening in his/her life on emotional and mental levels.

Another incidence occurred around the same age of 16 was when I felt a powerful desire to be part of a sacred place. I couldn窶冲 think of anything but a church.

So, I talked to my girlfriend and persuaded her to accompany me. Every Sunday morning, at 7.30 a.m. we used to catch a bus, which would take us to the outskirts of the town, where the most beautiful church in the area stood. It was unlike traditional Russian orthodox churches in appearance, but rather a Catholic cathedral, with Orthodox Christian interior. It was quite a commitment for two teenage girls to do that every Sunday, regardless of the weather or the mood. It felt peaceful, it was a respite from the family chaos. I connected to my soul, standing there, in the church hall, among the parishioners, saying psalms, praying from the heart. The older ladies in the parish insisted we young girls learn more about the customs and ceremonies so that we behaved properly during the mass (the Russian church is very ritualised, very old-fashioned, one would say, in the way they operate, even now). This triggered a rebel inside me, because I believed no one can tell me how to approach God and where to put candles. But I still kept going to masses for some time after that.

It stopped when one of the girls fell in love.

To be continued窶ヲ

My story

Part 1.

Where I was born, people used herbs in treating simple things, like colds and flu, quite extensively. Moreover, even medical doctors prescribed herbal gargles for a sore throat or homeopathic remedies for flu (generic ones, not personalised, as doctors are not trained in homeopathy in Russia, but are familiar with this modality).

As a little girl, I spent a lot of time in queues in hospitals and clinics, where my mother was trying to get yet another diagnosis for her malaise. I listened to the medical lingo, I could spell 窶彗cetylsalicylic窶 when I was 6 and knew the difference between laryngitis and pharyngitis by the age of 7. I knew where the major organs in our body were and what medication was used to treat different conditions by the age of 8. I learned about electrophoresis therapy and acupuncture (as Soviet medical specialists often had exchange programs with their Chinese colleagues, so Chinese medicine was a la mode, though its philosophy was not talked about). After that I don窶冲 remember attending medical clinics with mother. And the knowledge about the body work faded. I got occupied with my little nieces and nephews who were born around that time. But then there were issues with the little bubbas窶 health 窶 eczema, bronchitis, fevers – and I watched and observed. There was no internet in those days, you know, so the major entertainment and learning was the life itself.

How many times did you google something, but then you had to google for the same thing again, just to make sure, or because you simply forgot? I can say that for me there were quite a few! Well, when you watch and are part of something, it stays with you pretty much forever.

Teenage years were tough. As I approached adolescence in a slightly overweight body, and also in poor physical shape with very little endurance. Vegetative-vascular dystonia was my diagnosis which, as it turned out, was labelled to many teenage boys and girls in Russia at that time. I was prescribed medication. Retrospectively, the medication which I was given, was quite holistic 窶 Siberian Ginseng tincture (taste of childhood, as I call it now), some amino acids and, possibly, some chemical drug.

It is very clear to me now how all the conditions I had developed by my teen years were of psychosomatic origin 窶 stressful family situation, lots of shaming and blaming in childhood, all sorts of abuse 窶 at home and at school. It all had to happen for some reason. I窶冦 still untangling all that. This is my journey in this life. And I find it fascinating; and the more I learn along my journey 窶 about myself and the world 窶 the more I窶冦 curious.

To be continued窶ヲ